


Self destruction of a teenage hero

by batsbatsbatsbats



Category: Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Self destructing, Steven needs therapy, Steven universe centric, implied self harm, pink powers suck, poor steven, self deprecating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 14:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23077231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batsbatsbatsbats/pseuds/batsbatsbatsbats
Summary: After a traumatic and semi unhealthy childhood it’s no surprise when Steven finally starts to struggle now that the dust has settled. Add on new difficulties, family issues, and new powers... well all I can say is poor Steven.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 69





	Self destruction of a teenage hero

**Author's Note:**

> I have no real reason to write this other than the fact that I feel so for Steven struggling lately in the show and that he deserves the entire universe.

Steven really should just stop trying in all honestly. After the plant fiasco, and then the whole Sadies friends and the dome thing happened it’s pretty clear that he’s the problem. No matter how hard he tries he’s always not enough.

First he was only Rose to the gems, then he was pink diamond briefly, next came savior of the universe, and now he’s just useless. He’s just a washed up hero with no more monsters to fight.

Steven relates now more than to ever to Spinel since he finally grasps how painful it is feeling everyone drift away. Was this all he was meant for? To be some common weapon? To be used and then thrown away? 

He couldn’t even make the gems love him, let alone like him at first? And then he was their problem solver. Their honest to god therapist. He shoved his way into the middle of their “family” until he finally got shoved out. After all the smoke has cleared he’s just shoved into the background. He never really belonged.

Not human enough to relate to his dad or Connie , not gem enough to fit in with any of the gems. All he used to be was helpful and now he’s just not needed. He never really understood how much he needed to be needed before.

If all people liked about him was that he fixed their problems for them, then wouldn’t they hate him if they could finally do it themselves ? What would he be useful for if he couldn’t help anybody ?

Why was it so hard to grasp he wasn’t wanted anywhere? More and more he’s losing control to his pink powers while the others are moving on. He’s just stuck and all alone. 

He’s happy for them, he really is ! Steven’s glad for pearl’s new self worth, amethyst’s confidence , and Garnet’s realized new self-love. He’s super proud for Connie going to college soon and Lars making a new name for himself. 

It’s just they seemed to forget he existed is all. The loneliness creeps in and all he has left is a broken childhood and self destructing powers growing by the day. Sometimes he bathes in the diamond waters and hopes it’ll heal his broken head.

All it does is make his stomach ache in a way that leaves him clutching his gem and remembering being ripped in half. In the end it just makes him feeling more empty and sad. 

With healing powers you could get away with anything. Especially since you’re already evidently self destructing and no ones stopping you. And if no mental or psychical scars are actually there does that mean his pain isn’t real?

Some days he looks through rose tinted glasses and sees how he used to view things. How everyone relied on him and adored him. Now he remembers Connie reading him the tale of Atlas who once held up the entire sky. Younger Steven used to wonder how cool he was and how strong Atlas was! Now he just relates to how heavy and tired Atlas must have felt. Frozen in agony for ages trying to do the right thing.

He’s so afraid of turning into a monster that he never realized how far he’s spiraling. It’s a shame that they turned a kid into a soldier. But really it’s his fault alone that he took the tattered flag handed to him and lead the way .

There’s only so much bend before something brakes Unfortunately they’re all about to finally see.


End file.
